HAIL MARY

2012-01-27T12:48:00.001-04:00

Long before I had discovered any kind of person crush, the Internet gained my trust with Audrey Hepburn & people who understood not liking Aaron Carter, which was a big, stick out deal at the time. The Internet subsequently broke my heart when it showed me famine all over the world. It was no longer one photo on the front of a newspaper; after link after link of hungry children was a huge shock to my preteen system. Mass suffering wasn't real to me until I saw it online. The first time I ever saw the Internet, it was helping me play the game that came with the Microsoft Encarta encyclopedia, which was my favourite thing. Ever. Unlike the kids at school, the Internet told me that was okay to crave knowledge.

In many ways, the Internet knows me better than most people ever will. I've asked it all of the personal questions I was ashamed to admit I didn't know the answer to. From YouTube clips of Audrey Hepburn to long nights of reading endless Wikipedia articles about the history of baseball, it has shaped my entire being. It taught me how to get too skinny, but introduced me to people who have helped me recover. It made me hate & love; myself, politicians, style, & the world. It hasn't replaced human contact for me by any means. It does not embrace me, but rather IS; the closest thing to an omnipotent being that science has created thus far.

An invitation.

2011-10-31T10:15:00.003-03:00

Hey familiar faces,

I've missed a lot of you. I went through an awkward period of time in my life where I really needed to get healthy, and I did. I'm proud of that.

I don't know how many of you are still kicking around. I go to your blogs and see they are closed, or have not been updated for a while. I miss you. I hope you see this and will come say hi. Because I have some ideas for you.

I have a new corner of the internet, because sometimes you just need to start over. I'd love to see you.

We talk about how it makes us feel when we see people hurting themselves.

We talk about how we're all different, and how we're all similar.

We talk about current events.

We talk about our neighbourhood.

Mainly, we just talk a lot.

Please, come talk with me again?

xo Allison

@allisomething

2011-10-12T11:06:00.000-03:00

Also,

2011-03-30T11:24:00.002-03:00

it is probably worth mentioning, as one of my final posts on this blog (see post below for link to new one) that my name was Mary Allison, although I know go by Allison Mary. ... Appaling, I know! :) Also, once again, my new blog is alwaysalwayssomething.blogspot.com Hope to see you there!

& finally....

2011-03-29T09:24:00.000-03:00

alwaysalwayssomething.blogspot.com

I hope to see you soon!

If anyone still sees this...

2011-01-12T11:21:00.001-04:00

and wants to see more...

send hailmary.q@gmail.com a "hi!" to see something new.
If you left your email on the last post, you'll see a "hi!" from me today!

Much love!

"So it goes"

2010-05-20T10:31:00.006-03:00

"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." - Daria Morgendorfer

I don't know what started making me so frustrated towards this blog, but it did. I guess I just don't feel like the same person as when I started, and I didn't know how to develope this any further.
I have started a new blog that I share with people I actually know.. kind of opposite, huh?
It is writing based, and I feel a better fit for me.
I am not sure if I will release it to the internet at large.

If you are interested in getting the link if I decide to open it up, please leave your email in the comments in form of
fake name (at) fake email (dot) come so you don't get spammed

Whether you do or not, thank you to everyone who has read this blog. It was a huge part of my life at one point and I do apologise for not feeling that way anymore. So many of you have touched me in ways you'll never know. Because of this, I have left some of my (and your) favourite posts. I hope they can touch you in a similar way.

Thank you. It's been quite the ride.

Happy Holidays, You're Awesome

2009-12-24T23:41:00.004-04:00

Yes, it's Christmas, and to everyone who doesn't celebrate it, well, it's an awesome day to realize how lucky we are. I'm not normally so shy looking as I am at the end (I'm quite loud in real life) but it was the end of a very long day of love and retail, haha.

If you wouldn't mind, in the spirit of the New Year, please take a minute to answer the following questions:
-Why do you come to my blog? What do you like best?
-Should I do more videos?

Thank you guys. Your participation, kindness, and inspiration motivate me to keep blogging.
Please keep being wonderful.

Always,
Mary

PS: The song is 'Building All is Love' from the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack.

Worth Reading

2009-12-10T00:44:00.001-04:00

How can we help girls become stronger, more self confident, more intelligent girls if reading merely for pleasure is becoming a less and less popular activity? Scanning Jezebel or the New York Times every morning is great, but it informs rather than inspires. Besides, how can you even start informed reading is the love for words and curiosity isn't already there? I gush over movies quite frequently, but here is a bit of what I love.. or what I've loved, and what you might love too.

Philosophy/Critical Writing:
*= it has a plot and is not just a body of essays/ideaology
Sophie's World* by Jostein Gaarder
Slaughterhouse Five* by Kurt Vonnegut
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
The Stranger* by Albert Camus
1984* by George Orwell
The Trial* by Franz Kafka
Web of Hate: Inside Canada's Far Right Network by Warren Kinsella
No Fat Chicks by Terry Poulton
Nine Parts of Desire by Geraldine Brooks
Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipers
Brave New World* by Aldous Huxley
Feed* by MT Anderson
The Gutenberg Galaxy by Marshall McLuhan
note: For some reason after this point, only some of the hyperlinks started working, so from here on you kind of have to search for yourself. But they're worth it, I promise.

Enjoyment:
The Road
Le Petit Prince
The Lord of the Rings
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time
The His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman, especially the last book
Letters to Barbara by Leo Meter
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Gathering Blue by Lois Lowery
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi
Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
On The Road by Jack Kerouac
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

Awesome Women & Girls:
Madeline by
Persepolis
Clever Lazy
No Logo
Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
The Book of Small by Emily Carr
A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews
Mrs Dalloway by Virgina Wolfe
The Handmaiden's Tale by Margaret Atwood

... I think I missed at least one hundred million...
What are your favourite books?
Always,
Mary

(Oh, and I'm not even endorsing amazon.com at all. I've never ordered stuff from there, but they do have good descriptions/summaries.)

Good Bye Lenin!

2009-11-24T01:12:00.003-04:00

A sequel would ruin the sweet up in the air whimsy ending of Amelie, but I wanted one. The inspirational story of a little French girl who tried to improve everyone's lives with creativity and whimsical crafting. Set in East Germany at the end of the 1980s, Good Bye Lenin! satisfied my sequel craving.

The character is an adorable Jim Sturgess look alike who protests the government of the time and gets sent to prison. This causes his mother a heart attack, which puts her in a coma. After eight months, the famous Berlin Wall gets torn down and capitalism begins to set in. His mother wakes up, but is weak. Any shocking news could push her over the edge and kill her. A devout socialist, he knows that this might be that and creates an elaborate pre whole Berlin world for her to live in, and just like in Amelie... lives change.

Am I done sounding like a cheesy movie ad? Nope. I loved this movie. I had a terrible day and Emlyn put two films down in front of me. It is solely by chance I picked this one, which only confirms my faith in chance. Amazing colours and soulful characters made the unplausible but possible plot pull at my heartstrings instead of merely entertaining.

This was like a break up letter to East Germany... acknowledging why it just wasn't working out but giving the country the glory and romance it deserved. It can be easy to forget that something the history books paint as grim truly matter to some people, and this film is an epic proof that there is beauty in everything and no matter where we are on this planet we are held together by love.

Images thanks to IMDB, grandoisie, and jarek.
Always,
Mary

You are relevant to democracy

2009-10-15T00:34:00.008-03:00

Mary's Note: Whereas a large amount of my readers are American, I must tell you that the Canadian and American political systems are VERY different. In the Canadian system, you do not merely vote for your leader, you vote for the leader of your area, and they win a seat. Every party tries to get the most seats in the house, and the one that succeeds gets to elect their party leader as prim minister. This is where the cheesy title comes from. I am not able to explain it efficiently here, but ignore the specific terminology because this applies to you too, and all you other countries out there. Except Denmark and Germany apparently... you guys keep it up!

No one wants to admit that democracy is just an abstract idea.
We're always just so busy fighting for it, you know? Never mind the whole Cold War issue and that time when we tried to impose it on Africa and how we still continue to yell "undemocratic!" at everything we don't like. Sometimes we forget to take a minute and look at what it actually means. Definitions of it are quick to use words like equality, but this leads to a problem... does this mean that the dictionaries have too idealistically defined democracy, or does this mean that what we have isn't it? There are a number of reasons equality is still not in our government, but I'm going to talk about one that you personally can solve, dear readers.

You are not running for government.

Although I write this for everyone, I speak specifically to the younger girls. I speak to them because I know that they have strong opinions and values and morals that maybe anyone isn't listening to right now. Or maybe people are listening to you. Maybe you're like me, and had one of the most supportive and inspirational role models you possibly could in a family. Maybe your grandmother who ran for federal government always encouraged and begged you to hold true to your strong opinions. Maybe you come from a family of independent and hard working women, but somewhere, somehow along the way society has, whether intentionally or through the traditional patriarchy of most societies, has instilled a sense of modesty within you that makes you think that you are not good enough to hold a position of power.

There are more women involved in the Afghani government than there are in the Canadian House. I won't pretend the job isn't difficult. I had the honour of sitting and watching several great female politicians speak of their experience in the federal government, and with all the shouting and yelling it can be hard for girls taught to "be polite" to actually raise their voices and be heard. Alongside, Green Party leader Elizabeth May, backed up by Glenn Pearson, claimed the heckling and booing that occurs could constitute abuse. PMS jokes and subtle sexism only add to an intimidating male-centric culture. And of course, if a woman is to have a family, she is likely a primary caretaker with many duties and responsibilities. For her to take on a position of such power would indeed require breaking some standard gender roles within her family. It takes someone strong to deal with all of these things, but here's the thing: I know you guys are strong.

Women should not be blindly elected to beef up any number count and make us look more presentable to the United Nations. As Elizabeth May put it on Wednesday, "Who would we rather, a house full of Stephen Lewises or a room full of Sarah Palins?" Indeed, being a woman does not guarantee you are acting in your sisters best interests, but I am assuming none of you reading this are Sarah Palin. Women do not need to be forced into positions of power, they need to be elected like anyone else... if only they'd run. A house full of men cannot best represent the interests of 52% of the population: girls.

This is why I challenge you. I know you are all activists in your own ways. You are saving Darfur, you are reading the newspaper, you are raising money for cancer, you are making a difference. There are many women political columnists, journalists, pundits, writers... This is all very good, and your interest is fantastic, but why would you talk about other people's power when you can grab it for yourself? International issues, problems with current government, and especially your reproductive rights are all things that need critiquing from many different perspectives, including yours. I know you are already a political girl, so why not become a female politician?

The voice of the world is not a middle aged white males, it is a chorus variety. So why is theirs the one we hear above the others? Speak up. Sing out.

Always,
Mary

This post is for Anna and Lee, both of whom should especially take this to heart.

100 Ways to be an Activist

2009-09-01T19:58:00.015-03:00

Honestly, you don't always have time to save every part of the world always. Going into university next week means I have even less time then usual in preparation for the things to come, and it's really forced me to think about what I want to actually do with my life. The word 'active' is in activism, yet it seems to be a part that people forget about. Our best intentions are only as good as the effort we put into making them a reality, but sometimes it can be hard to take these dreams to the real world if we don't know where to start.

Well, there are 100 ways...

1) Find a cause that truly matters to you, so that you can literally feel the passion running through your body as you hear about it and your eyes almost well up and you begin to think of the injustice behind it. Embrace the power you have as a human to care and concentrate it into causes that truly matter to you.
2) Donate money to cause above. It's basic, but always required.
3) Cut your hair for cancer. I did it, and it makes you feel great knowing that if you ever get another bad hair cut again you can just cut it short because been there done that! Oh AND you get to know you just made a cancer patient's life a lot easier... kind of a big deal.
4) Start your own chapter or club at school and hold meetings to promote, discuss, and take actions on your cause.
5) Participate in someone else's club. We're not all leader. HOWEVER, this does not excuse apathy or a lack of effort. You know if you're lying to yourself about 4).
6) Pick up litter. Not only does it hurt animals, it hurts us. It hurts the food we grow, the water we drink, and the world we live in. Bring gloves and a plastic bag.
7) Read a variety of media to keep up to date on current issues. You can't change something if you don't know it's happening.
8) Podcasts about social change are a quick and easy way to get information on the go, and by subscribing you're encouraging the actions of the people involved in producing them!
9) Set aside your latest buy and blog about something that means something to you every now and then. Reach out to your readership and encourage them to care too.
10) Donate sneakers to Unicef and make someone's long walk much easier.
12) Donate business clothes to Dress for Success to help a woman get back on her feet.
13) Donate everything else to Value Village.
14) Recycle!
15) But try to repair it first. It's better to fix something than to throw it away, even if it's a more ethical way to toss it!
16) Composting your food turns it into food for Mother Nature.
17) Using public transit saves road space and emissions, two things we're always making more of at the expense of the planet.
18) Answer surveys! Someone is asking you for your opinion. GIVE IT TO THEM!
19) Surveys also usually have a 'more?' box for your comments, and make sure to tell them more! Politicians come to your door to get youth to vote, so tell them what it will take. People want you to like their product, so you just have to set the terms around your goals and what you'd like to see them do for your cause.
20) Buy things from bake sales. We've all been there.

Thanks
21) Buy products that use waste minimal and more efficient packaging.
22) Question everything. Is something eco friendly if its shipped from China? it may be organic, but that's a lot of gas to get it over...
23) Buy local produce. Help local farmers.
24) Eat in season.
25) Get to know your local farms. They're not the same as the big scar factory ones you see on PETA commercials.
26) Plant carrots or tomatoes or some other thing that apparently anyone can grow.
27) Plant a tree.
28) Play games with children: check out Big Brothers Big Sisters.
29) Read books to the elderly.
30) Learn the names of the major politicians in your city, province, country...
31) Learn the names of key global politicians who are relevant to news today.
32) Vote. God.
33) Vote. Seriously. Even if you don't like anyone. Spoil your value if you have to. Just let them know you care and you're unimpressed.
34) Tell other people to vote.
35) Fight for other people to vote.
36) Make pamphlets about anything.
37) Hand them out.
38) Make a bag with a message.
39) Make t shirts, pins, buttons... make them have meaning.
40) Memorize inspirational quotations to keep you going.

Thanks!
41) Donate books to hospitals, to libraries, to schools...
42) Teach someone to read, be it a child or someone learning to speak English.
43) Attend local theater and concerts.
44) Have an awesome tote bag you take everywhere and decline when plastic is offered.
45) Get a reusable bottle. Nalgene and Sigg give you cancer or whatever apparently... just ignore brand names and find one you like and drink it. Make sure it's recyclable if it does crack.
46) Buy your clothing second hand.
47) Don't let people bully others
48) take shorter showers.
49) Save water by reusing it. That which you used to clean your dishes can go into your garden if you use natural soap, which you should anyways because it will just end up in your rainwater.
50) Plug everything into one extended power plug so you can just unplug it every night. Even turned out, it can drain power and waste energy.
51) Don't call people fat. Ever.
52) Don't worship models (admire isn't worship.)
53) Follow activists on Twitter. A lot of people have an account and sometimes that daily random does of inspiration is what you need to take action.
54) Hold a walk or rally for a cause. Make sure to increase visibility by making posters and wearing all one colour.
55) Read about famous activists and know what they've been through to accomplish what they have. It will put your struggle into perspective.
56) Know your history: the million man march changed everything, and you can too.
57) Speak intelligently. "That's retarded" is ignorant and offensive and only shows you know nothing about the situation they are going through.
58) Don't use stereotypes, they are the opposite of action.
59) Instead of avoiding labels like "feminist", redefine them to what they should be.
60) "It is better to rally for something then protest against something." -Me, a few months ago.
I still agree.
61) Tweet about one important thing a day and bring it to someone else's attention.

Thanks!
62) Don't feel self righteous just because you joined a cause on Facebook. Raising awareness helps, but one little thing like that is merely slactivism.
63) Start an informative website for people to go to when they want more information on what you're talking about.
64) Write letters to the editor.
65) Donate condoms.
66) Do not under any circumstances ever prevent anyone from buying condoms.
67) Realize abstinence only education is stupid. (Sorry, let's be real, I'd take educated sex over uneducated sex any day.)
68) Respect other peoples religions. Respect includes a basic knowledge so you don't continuously question them and make them feel different.
69) Support advertisers who represent genders, races, and other demographics equally and respectfully.
70) Watch the Special Olympics as well. They are just as exciting and challenging and heroic.
71) Support your troops. Even if you don't agree with the war. Even if they're acting funny because they came home and they're shell shocked and scared and angry and crying and not yet getting the help they need. Even if they seem normal but a little off somehow. Even if you don't support your own government's choices. Even if hald the people you know in the army are jerks. Support your troops. They're doing it for you.
72) Support alternative business models. Buying an item that donates some proceeds is not a charity, but it is a good business model.
73) Focus. Seriously. Just focus.
74) Don't always assume your North American mentality is right. It's tempting to look down at the struggling and preach to them, but preaching seldom actually helps the person in need.
75) Donate 10% of your income to charity.
76) Donate bottled water, blankets, batteries, sanitary, and nonperishable food to shelters and food banks.
77) Buy a present for someone less fortunate at every major holiday.
78) Never waste something someone else could use.
79) Donate pet food to local animal shelters.
80) Donate diapers
81) Teach English to immigrants.
82) Send letters to those fighting overseas.
83) Know what recovery position is in case someone has a seizure. Stand up for someone with autism who might not be able to express what's bothering them. Understand neurodiversity.
84) Give up your seat for people who actually need it on the bus. Someone who needs a cane can't take the jumps and bumps like most of you can.
85) Take pictures of things that are wrong; polluted lakes, racist vandalism... Have proof and be clear when you are taking a stand for something.

86) Be critical without being rude. No matter how hard you're working for good, if you're hyperactive and make ill founded statements against "the corporation" (its the new "the man.") you only discredit the cause and lend to a stereotype.
87) Read local news.
88) Make local news. Do something worth talking about. Contact them. Get creative.
89) Actually pay attention to when the news is advertising a missing child. People frequently say "Imagine being that parent" and feel pity, but imagine being the child who is scared and either alone or with someone dangerous. Now understand why it's important.
90) Research what animal had to suffer for you to buy eyeliner. Make the answer none.
91) Research how many children made the jeans you're wearing. Realize it.
92) Talk to your friends about things that bother you. If you find someone with similar views, it can be easier to realize how to make a movement.
93) Attend a meeting of a grassroot local movement.
94) Get to know your neighbors.
95) Instead of giving change to, or even looking away from the homeless, spend some time with an organization that can make a real difference in their lives. Stretch your coins into a change that can benefit more people instead of just one.
96) Push for your school board to keep from cutting art programs. Mental health is as important as physical health, and yet frequently gets shafted during decision making and budget times.
97) Give someone a musical instrument.
98) Give someone a copy of something that matters, like 1984, or even V for Vendetta.
99) Uh.... have I said 'Vote' enough yet?
100) " Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato.

Always,
Mary

Hey teenage girls, it's been a while...

2009-08-20T19:34:00.007-03:00

Over and over we wax and wane poetically about adolescence gone askew as Fox News sends out headline after headline crying the plight of our troubled youth. Fox News cannot save the next generation, and although, my beautiful teenage girls, you are frequently dismissed as superficial and inadequate, I do believe you can solve the problems of the future despite being pegged as one of the present.

"Our girls nowadays, oh no! They're dressing scandalously, they're scary skinny they have low self esteem. BACK IN MY DAY...." Back in your day women baked cupcakes, gave birth to beautiful children and... were generally not encouraged to be educated and frequently the victims of horrific violent actions then considered maybe not acceptable, but at least permissible.

My point is, no matter how far back you go, women have pretty much always been considered the weaker of the two genders. Blame society, blame anatomy, when the teenage girls of today look back for guidance they can only really seek it from a generation who has struggled some kind of sexist battle before. Nowadays it's different; to call everything fair would be blind, but it's not the same defined fight it was before. Feminists throughout changed laws, which are generally clear and well written out, but in the process they also changed the definition of a girl, and there will be no handbook provided for this.

It's healthy to have someone you can look up to and admire in times of moral crisis, but I frequently question the role models chosen by society for the young women of today. I don't even blame whoever is the current poster child of Disney for inevitably taking her clothes off any more, and have to laugh at those who are shocked by it.

"But MileyVanessaBrittneyInsertNameHere... my little darling looks up to her! She loves that show!"

So what? What does this starlet have to prove to your daughter? Who was the first person to say, "Oh you can act, you can sing, you are thus morally superior"? And why on earth did you fall for this person's grave mistake? In ancient Greece the philosophers and the actors were hardly in the same class, and we generally hold that society as a beacon of what is (primitively) rational and intelligent.

And yet we continue to hold mainly people who have a job in an industry known as entertainment up as pillars of ethics. Why can't we teach our girls that to like someone and to look up to someone is not the same thing? Even a few months ago I was under the delusion that this world lacked good female role models. I could not have been more mistaken. It may be hard to see the sun when there is smog in the air blocking the view, but the sun is still there, shining.

You can call me crazy for thinking every seven year old girl should learn at least some of the intricate, complex philosophical lessons of Simone de Beauvoir, but is it really more appalling then letting her sit mindlessly in front of stupid musical number after stupid musical number onscreen as the stars of it strip for magazines and comply to the desires of a perverted public thanks to a perverted corporation in their off hours? A girl will only produce results comparable to what she has been able to experience, so let her experience the genius of women at a young age. Don't sit her down with The Second Sex and ask her to let you know if she has any questions later... let her know who great women were, and what made them great. Take lessons, not quotations, and give them to her at a young age. Teach her that the definition of a woman is fluid, and "expressing urself!" is more than buying the right accessories.

This is not about being cultured, this is not about restricting her intake of a media you cannot keep her away from, this is laying the foundations of goodness and intelligent thinking so the next coked out starlet on the cover of The Inquirer is someone she thought was cool, not someone she thought was God. She might not understand those images when she sees them, and you might breath a sigh of relief when she forgets she asked "Mommy, what's a sex tape?" earlier, but you cannot pretend those misunderstood images did not make an impact on the shaping of her opinion and views on life.

It's much easier to slowly build a wall than to have to knock one down and start over again, so talk to her while she's young. Everyone makes different choices. You can make your own. Every human is relevant to society. You are a human. You are relevant. Those confusing thoughts and opinions you have, even when you role your eyes at me at call me lame, those are important, and I care about them. When you show that you are thinking for yourself and developing your own opinions, I see a light in your eyes that is incomparable to any other greatness, and I am truly proud of you.

I know it's hard to reach out and tell someone younger than you "this is what a woman isn't!" when you're hardly a woman, but displaying an affection and compassion to someone that you may have never shown yourself might just mean that you are that voice you needed but didn't have. If you don't teach the girls who matter to you how to think for themselves, some other outlet, possibly one much more sinister, will teach them how to think for it.
The greatest way to show you care is to care.
Go care today.

Always,
Mary

PS: This is totally inspired by Lee.

Make Darfur a Topic

2009-07-24T02:36:00.007-03:00

I'm sure you've all heard, and half of you are on, Twitter right now. As social media becomes increasingly relevant in today's culture, it's interesting to see how it can be used to help social activism.

I've made no secret of the fact that the genocide in Darfur is something I feel strongly about; the lack of empathy and regard for human life is ridiculous and needs to stop. However, it can only be stopped if attention is brought to it. And we're going to make it a topic.

How Twitter works is by using a #, it defines a word and sets it apart as a topic. All statements also have to be in a 140 character limit. So I've prepared for you 100 statements, hashtag included, about Darfur that are under 140 characters. 85 are posted today, and more will be on Monday.

On Wednesday, July 29th, (and the days after) I want you to tweet as many of these messages as you can.. space them out, come up with them of your own, tell your friends to... basically, make Darfur a topic. It's an easy way to make a change using the internet an bring attention to something that so desperately needs it.

If you repost this article in your blog, tweets & explanation, let me know and I will link you at the bottom of this post.

I have nothing to say about the facts, except that they are all verified and pretty much speak for themselves... when ironically, the Darfuri people can't.

Always,

Mary

1) What do 400,000+ people have in common? They were all murdered in the genocide in #Darfur. http://www.standcanada.org/

2) Ignoring the Holocaust didn’t make it go away. Save #Darfur.

3) To call #Darfur anything less than a genocide is ignorant to both the definition of genocide and the suffering of the victims.

4) The most meaningful characters you could type today: Save #Darfur.

5) There are currently 2.5 million refugees because of the genocide in #Darfur. Demand action.

6) Imagine living in a country where a girl is as likely to be sexually assaulted as she is to be able to learn to read. Save #Darfur.

7) Government using helicopters to light their own people on fire? Sounds like a movie, for some it’s reality. Save #Darfur.

8) The Sudanese government hired a private militia just to kill its own people. Save #Darfur.

9) Isn’t nine years of genocide in #Darfur enough? Call 1-800-genocid(e)

10) In #Darfur elders are sent to get water at night because girls are will be raped and men shot. There is no guarantee the elder is safe.

11) The famine in Sudan killed a lot of people, but the genocide it caused killed more. 400,000 more. Save #Darfur.

12) What do we want? A stop to genocide in #Darfur. When do we want it? Nine years ago.

13) Rape and genocide go hand & hand in #Darfur: http://clg.portalxm.com/library/keytext.cfm?keytext_id=141

14) If a government is killing its own people, why on earth would they be allowed to chose where the refugee camp goes? Save #Darfur.

15) Water: we take it for granted, and yet a lack of it has lead to over 400,000 deaths in #Darfur.

16) Start a STAND chapter at your school today! http://www.standcanada.org Save #Darfur.

17) If the UN doesn’t call #Darfur genocide, they don’t have to stop the atrocities. Stop saving money and start saving lives.

18) When you invest in Sudanese oil, you are investing in genocide in #Darfur.

19) What kind of message does it send when we let a government kill its own people based on ethnicity? Save #Darfur.

20) A little apathy never hurt anyone... except the victims of #Darfur.

21) The people of #Darfur worry about famine& AIDS just like other 3rd world countries, but they also have to deal with genocide

22) Several current members of the Sudanese government have been charged with over ten counts of sexual assault. Save the women of #Darfur.

23) Many organizations currently consider #Darfur one of the most dangerous places on the planet.

24) "since the #Darfur Peace Agreement was signed in May 2006, attacks against peacekeepers and humanitarian workers have increased ninefold."

25) re:newint.org "90 per cent of the villages of Darfur’s targeted ethnic groups have been destroyed." Save #Darfur

26) re: newint.org: "3.6 million people are dependent on international humanitarian assistance in #Darfur."

27) re: newint.org: "A third of people [in #Darfur] in need are beyond the reach of humanitarian workers."

28) Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir states ‘there will not be any international military intervention in #Darfur as long as I’m in power’.

29) "The WHO has warned that a major health catastrophe could erupt if the necessary funds and supplies are not made available." Save #Darfur.

30) The ICC has "arrested" Sudanese president Al Bashir, but this is merely symbolic. Firm measures need to be taken. Save #Darfur.

31) "A hybrid UN-AU peacekeeping force is on the ground in #Darfur, although it remains underfunded, understaffed, and vulnerable to attacks."

32) Girls as young as eight are considered at high risk vulnerability levels for sexual assault in #Darfur.

33) People in #Darfur have an average of a three hour each way every night to get highly protected water.

34) Water is so heavily protected in #Darfur that night time trips are necessary to avoid being shot.

35) "For the first time since 2004, global acute malnutrition rates in #Darfur rose above the emergency threshold in 2007."

36) re: Unicef: "As of September 2008, 225 humanitarian vehicles have been hijacked or stolen during the year [in #Darfur]."

37) re: Unicef: “As of September 2008, 144 humanitarian compounds [have been] broken into [in #Darfur.]”

38) Attacks on convoys means that 180,000 people in #Darfur may not receive expected clean water supplies this year

39) How long the genocide in #Darfur has been going on for is disputed, but the fact that 100s of 100,000s have died isn’t.

40) Why should you care abou #Darfur? Why shouldn’t you care about #genocide?

41) Calling #Darfur a genocide is the difference between a UN intervention and political apathy. Call #Darfur what it really is.

42) Aid serves an important role in providing for the people of #Darfur, but it will not effectively address the root causes of the conflict.

43) Because Canada has no colonial ties to Sudan, it is in a prime position to help the people of #Darfur.

44) Because of the horrid conditions in #Darfur and the high rape rate, the infantcide levels have skyrocketted.

45) Sondra was a nine year old girl shot in the back of the neck when she was only two hours away from a refugee camp. Save #Darfur.

46) Machuk is a 12 year old boy who took care of 3 younger sisters. One day in #Darfur his town was lit on fire. He hasnt seen them since.

47) To see the damage done in #Darfur, check out google earth. It will show you what villages have been burned to the ground.

48) in #Darfur theres a religious belief that you cant kill a virgin. Unfortunately for young girls, the "solution" for this is rape.

49) In #Darfur, a girl wil sometimes have to go through a humiliating forced marriage before being raped several times and then shot.

50) Daoud was an elderly woman who was kicked so hard she died. She was trying to get water for her family. Save #Darfur.

51) #Darfur can be hard to understand because it is not a difference of skin colour, but the fact remains that people are still dying.

52) Genocide is the systematic killing of a people. #Darfur is the systematic killing of a people. Call #Darfur genocide.

53) Saving #Darfur will be difficult, but letting an entire type of people die due to apathy is unacceptable.

54) The Holocaust, Rwanda... didn’ we say never again to genocide? Save #Darfur.

55) As long as the genocide in #Darfur continues, it will be one of the biggest broken promises of the Western world.

56) Issa was a thirteen year old girl raped by four different soldiers, two from her own governement.

57) When two Canadian aids workers went missing, the news media mentioned Sudan but not the words genocide or #Darfur. Why the silence?

58) Demand more of your local media; write them and make them pay attention to what is happening in #Darfur.

59) Although Canada isnt a major world power, we are respected internationally for commitments to peacekeeping and human rights. Save #Darfur.

60) “Who the hell cared about Rwanda?” –Romeo Dallaire. Save #Darfur.

61) www.instantkarma.org: a collection of John Lennon covers with profits going to #Darfur!

62) Here’s how you can start a STAND chapter and help #Darfur! http://www.standnow.org/chapters/start

63) "Having called what is happening in #Darfur genocide and having vowed to stop it, it is time for the West to keep its word" Romeo Dallaire

64) Why You Should Care: http://www.standcanada.org/index.php?section=why-you-should-care Save #Darfur

65) Genocide: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/genocide See #Darfur.

66) "Dozens upon dozens of groups and organizations have prioritized stopping the killing in #Darfur before there is no one left to be killed."

67) "The UN has become a largely irrelevant, [...] and the just-released U.N. report on the atrocities in #Darfur, Sudan, proves the point."

68) "We all might ask ourselves why we tune in to these more trivial matters and tune out when it comes to #Darfur. " -Nicholas Kristof

69) "While Americans have heard of #Darfur and think we should be doing more there, they arent actually angry at the president about inaction. "

70) #Darfur is home to many races of farmers, who identify as African, and nomadic herders, who identify as Arab.

71) Janjaweed: an armed militia supported by the Sudanese Government to help the Sudanese army kill its own people. Save #Darfur.

72) "If a government shuts off all access to the country, how can we get a clear sense of the nature and extent of the violence?" Save #Darfur

73) How to get the Facts about #Darfur: http://clg.portalxm.com/library/keytext.cfm?keytext_id=157

74) Every month I update my power point about #Darfur, yet the only thing that ever really changes is the death count numbers.

75) #Darfur is a region in Sudan that has been suffering from genocide for numerous years, yet is barely heard on the news.

76) #Darfur is one of the biggest tragedies of the 2st century -and one of the most ignored.

77) Take action in #Darfur, because the UN doesn't seem to be doing anything.

78) Unfortunately, because the UN Security Council has countries that trade with Sudan on it, it impedes action in #Darfur.

79) The people of #Darfur have enough to worry about without the genocide. This is unacceptable.

80) Support Bashir's arrest warrant, put strict trade sanctions on Sudanese oil, and return the displaced home.

81) Follow: @ExhibitDarfur, save #Darfur

82) Follow: @StandCanada, save #Darfur

83) Read: The Devil Came on Horseback, save #Darfur

84) Isa is a seven year old girl who will never know her parents because they both died when her village was lit on fire. Save #Darfur.

85) If the people of #Darfur aren't being shot at, they're starving from trying to escape being shot at.

Just Some Friday Reflections

2009-06-11T23:27:00.007-03:00

It's funny that I'm writing this because I've had a long standing grudge with any article that promotes self esteem.

It's not that I'm against the building of self esteem, it's not that I want you to start reading book that call everyone a fat, ugly hag... au contraire! It's constantly on my goals list to give more compliments and make my friends like themselves as much as I like them, which sounds like two very basic things, if only self esteem could come from the outside, which it can't, which is why I generally dismiss anything telling you to "be yourself!" as overly repetitive and trite. You say skeptic, I say realist... Poh-tay-toes, poh-tah-toes? This is why I'm going to ask you all to forgive me for this next little tirade. Forgive me because you've heard it before, forgive me because everyone says it, but listen to it and accept it because I mean what I say with every molecule of my body.

The expression 'keeping it real' has always struck me as funny, because keeping? Really? How many people are actually, consistently true to themselves anymore? I'm not blaming you, I know it's hard, but it seems whenever I leave the house nowadays someone's telling me they took business instead of archaeology "because there's a recession!" and another girl who responds to the rejection of just some silly, immature boy by going tanning and knocking back another Sex on the Beach. Does this ever happen to you? Do you ever just want to explain, "Well, going to the wrong school for you now actually makes much less financial sense because you're going to hate it so much you'll drop out and have wasted two years of your life, along with thousands of dollars?" Am I alone in this logic? Do I maybe have a career in financial planning?
(And do I really have to explain why tanning beds give you skin cancer?)

So, on being real:
When I wrote "A Love Letter" on body image, I was flattered by compliments from all over the blogisphere for my confidence and positive body image. Ready for some realness? You couldn't be more mistaken. When I write pieces like this, when I put the cards on the table, it's not because I've been there/done that/gone now. I don't propose to have the ultimate answer, nor do I think I've solved the problem. Does this make me a hypocrite? No, it just makes me another human, in the very same boat as you. I'm not saying we're all a bunch of liars, but how much of your personality do you repress on a daily basis just for the sake of the approval of other people?

Today I sat and nodded as a boy ripped my views up, telling me that everything I felt about, all the excitement I had for my new government was completely wrong and I was naive for having faith in anything. I don't care about this guy at all, yet I said "I respect your opinion" and smiled and didn't argue for the sake of being polite. Something your grandmother will never tell you: This is stupid. I kick myself now.

Everyone loves to talk about freedom of speech, usually followed by a reference to the good ol' cliche 'slippery slope' arguement with someone calling someone a racist/ homophobe/ sexist / insert anything here-ist. I love, I love so much that so many people respond to some very questionable arguements by respecting the other person's freedom of speech to say that, but you have the freedom to be offended, and you have the freedom to argue back. Speak up. Say things that benefit everyone involved in the conservations; don't say petty things because you can, say feelings, say facts, say things that matter to you and know that you more than deserve these; so many people fought for you to have this right, and for you to waste it is an insult to everyone who lives in a prohibitive theocracy elsewhere who desire change. If nothing more, use your voice to be a voice for others.

If people love you, they will listen to you. They will listen to more than your words, they will listen to your lifestyle. They won't make fun of you for wearing headscarves in the rain, they'll kind of understand when you ditch a big, prestigious school to go to a tiny feminist one, they'll just smile when you try to live your life based on the movie Amelie, and they might even accept that even if every single other person in your family did superb in math, a great mark in English is just as special even if it's very, uh, different from what was expected. And, most importantly, when you argue that the NDP is the greatest party for the province of Nova Scotia and Simone de Beauvoir is the smartest woman to have ever lived and The Beatles are the. greatest. band. EVER! they might not accept it, they'll argue back. And you'll listen. And it will be swell.

This weekend, I will probably go out, smile at a few guys, but keep dancing with my friends and secretly be a little relieved when the night's over. I'll have spent too much money on drinks trying to calm my nerves to party in a scene I don't really dig with people I really admire. Then, the next morning I will go to the market and buy a croissant and shrieked my heart out and giggle with two of the loveliest girls I have ever met. A small defeat, and a small victory, will both be accomplished. I still won't have my answer as to whether I'd rather go look at photographs of the slums of Berlin then dance than do shots with people who will only later stare at me when I accidentally let my love of the theories behind socialism and really old dresses slip out. I'll probably do the latter anyways.

So, here I am, a few hundred words later, nothing resolved but a weight off my chest. Because even though I've answered nothing, I've let you know that there are people out there who do care about you, who want to get to know you better, and who actually like you more when they can tell you're having a genuine good time. We are here, and we like you because you listen to Sonic Youth and Miley Cyrus, because you get a weird sense of superiority out of knowing you can name all the lobes of the brain and what they operate, and because sometimes you eat three donuts in a row without breathing when you're sad. Just know that it doesn't have to be sometimes, because, as one of the greatest literary genuises of our time, Dr Seuss, once said, "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Make yourself matter.

Always,
Mary

What It's Like To Be... a Woman who's had an Abortion

2009-05-26T11:19:00.004-03:00

Sometimes in life, there are situations where there seems to be no good answer, just options that are better than others. The problem with these options is that they are seldom obvious, and usually require a lot of thought and painstaking decision making, while being accompanied by doubt the whole time. This can definitely sum up the experience Georgia, a strong and talented Australian girl with an enviable position in the much coveted fashion industry. This vegetarian of twelve years, currently engaged to the man of her dreams, and a talented photographer (as displayed in this post!) seems like one of the coolest girls you could know, and would be an excellent best friend. And she would be, even if a year ago Georgia had an abortion.

The thing about Georgia's abortion is people sometimes forget that Georgia is not her abortion. She is still the warm, funny, friendly girl she always was who made a decision that will be with her the rest of her life, but she made a hard but appropriate choice to have to carry the decision with her instead of the fetus. Sometimes a woman can be careful and smart, but still feel she is not responsible enough yet to raise a child. Sometimes this is the most responsible decision.

Georgia was lovely enough to explain it for me:

Q: What was your opinion on abortion before your pregnancy? Has abortion changed it?
A: I went to an all girls school, where women were applauded, and a broad and unbiased education was paramount. I am also university educated, so I am fortunate enough to have been surrounded by strong and positive female role models.

Abortion is not something I thought I would personally have to deal with, and was definitely not a decision I took lightly. I am still, and always will be, pro-choice. I believe it is a woman’s right to choose her future, regardless of mistakes she may have made in her past.

Q: What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant? Did the idea of abortion come to you immediately or did you think of it later?
A: My first reaction to the news was devastation.
I had taken two at home tests. The first was negative and the 2nd positive. It was then I went to a doctor to find out for sure. As soon as she confirmed the news I broke down.

The doctor was very clinical, told me I had 3 options, (to keep the baby, adoption and abortion) and at this stage the best thing for me to do was start a pros and cons list regarding each one.

I did weigh up the pros and cons of every option though, and it definitely helped me to make my decision. Having a baby at that time was never part of my plan, and I knew that I was not ready to bring a child into the world.

Q: How did you pick which clinic to attend? Was the clinic positive and helpful or did you feel judged for what you did? Were there lots of options?
A: I did some online research and basically pulled a few numbers. I phoned around and went with my gut feeling based on conversations I had with receptionists. I cannot say enough about the clinic I attended! They were supportive and helpful from first contact.

I had made an initial appointment, and canceled it the day before because I just didn't feel ready. They were completely understanding, and beyond kind. When I attended a week later, I underwent a counseling session, completed psychology tests and was assigned a personal nurse to help me understand the process, answer any of my questions, and quite literally hold my hand from the start to the end.

I met with the both the doctor and the anesthesiologist before the procedure, and the whole environment was supportive and sensitive. They also ensured patients had a friend or partner to be there when the procedure was over; someone to take them home and support them when they left the clinic. I was completely informed about any risks involved, and supplied with contact numbers and references should I have any issues or concerns after leaving. I now have such a respect for those people who looked after me and all the women in the same situation. They were truly amazing.

justice seekers

indybay
Q: We frequently see people protesting outside the abortion clinics. Was this an issue with you at all?
A: On the morning I went to the clinic there were at least 15 people outside, holding placards, praying, chanting, and protesting. It was horrible to have to deal with that on top of everything else. I understand that this is a sensitive issue, and that people are passionate about it, but I do not believe harassing women in front of a clinic is the right or effective way to get a message across. This was a decision that I had thought long, hard, and agonized about. It was not something I was going to change my mind about upon being set upon by [others].

Q: How do you feel when other people say mean things about abortion? Has this situation ever arisen? Are you open with your experience or do you prefer to keep it to yourself?
A: I don’t advertise the fact that I had an abortion, but if the subject comes up, and I am with people I respect and trust, then I have no problem in talking about my experience.
When people are judgmental and ignorant though, it really just makes me sad. How can you judge not having been in that situation? But hey, all I can do is try to educate and empathize.

Q: Did you have a strong support group while going through this? Was this important?
A: I have amazing friends, and they were very important to me during both the decision making process and afterward. They were willing to stand by me whatever choice I made, and that was really touching. I would have been lost without them, and I think it would be very tough to go through this experience alone.

Q: Are there any days you regret your abortion?
A: The regret I have is getting pregnant in the first place. I am happy in my life, and I know in my heart, that if I hadn’t made that choice, I would have many regrets. There a so many things I want to achieve in my life, and having a child is one of them, but I want to be a responsible and amazing mother, able to provide the best for my child. Quite simply, I would never have been able to do that, if I'd had a child at that time.

I won’t say that it was easy. It took me a long time to deal with. I did go through some depression and a great sense of loss afterward. I cried a lot. I was upset at myself for not being ready to have the baby I had conceived. But 14 months later, I look forward to the day I am ready, and knowing that when it happens, I will be in the best position for parenthood that I can possibly be.

Q: Name some misconceptions about abortions and women who have them.
A: The thing I was most surprised about was that the waiting room was comprised mainly of couples. Ages ranged from 20s - 40s. It was my misconception that mainly young single girls have abortions, teenagers without decent support networks, or uneducated women living "hard" lives. This is most certainly not the case!

I have also heard ridiculous notions that women frequently use abortions as birth control measures, and I simply can't accept that anyone would put themselves through that instead of just taking a pill, or putting a condom on their partner.

Q: Were you religious? Are you religious? Did any of this have an impact on your decision?
A: I was baptized catholic, and spent 12 years in catholic schools, but I am not practicing. I am a spiritual person though, and I do believe in a higher power. There are many aspects from many religions that I take on board, I do believe in re-incarnation, I believe in life cycles, and I believe in karma. But I think, spirituality is a fluid thing that should grow and develop within us as we do. As cliché as it sounds, I do think everything happens for a reason, and I think every experience helps us to learn and eventualize our full selves.
-

It is interesting to look far back into history and see what beliefs many of the early people had on abortion. In fact, almost every ancient religion, from Zoroastrianism to Hinduism, had a period between conception and the developement of the fetus into a true child. This has later been scientifically proven, but even in ancient times there was admittedly dangerous (mind you, so was child birth at the time) but will available options for women who were in danger from their husbands or if their health was in concern.

Yes I can use chopsticks
An interesting thing to look at is the practices of many Japanese Buddhists.
" I think abortion should be approved or disapproved according to each circumstance." -Dalai Lama, New York Times, 28/11/1993
Abortions there acknowledge both that the fetus is not yet a child but also deals with the spiritual side with an offering to the god Jizo of lost travellers and children. Small statues are placed and visited annually, with the understanding that Jizo will guide the soul of the child off to another reincarnation which is more appropriate for it. The respect involved in a culture that embraces such practices is admirable.

There are a lot of different choices for a lot of different people; I made the choice to write this, and you made the choice to read it. You may make the choice to always be against abortion, but others of you may make the choice to have an abortion some day, or to be there for someone who has made that choice. In the end, there are a million choices that we are all permitted to make, and I hope that Georgia's story has inspired you to realize that there are many different choices that are appropriate for different people, and to judge without compassion is inappropriate. In fact, to judge at all is inappropriate, and goes against majors tenets in most religions, especially Christianity. Because, in the end, this is not your choice to make.

You may not respect Georgia's choice, but as a person, she still deserves your respect in the same way that everyone deserves the best in life. If there is one thing I can hope for, it is that you all go out and make what you think are the right choices that will give you the best, most meaningful, richest, lives you possibly can live.
Because there is truly beauty in choice.

Always,
Mary

More?
Birth Rate Up, Abortions Down (because girls don't have access...)
Planned Parenthood (for beyond just abortion information and into STDs and general sexual health)
I really wanted to include a link here about pro life people who still managed to respect abortion even if they didn't agree with it. I could not find one. I really hope you understand that it can happen though, I have faith in you.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2009-05-10T01:00:00.001-03:00

This is what happens when you allow your child to hang around with her grandmother who is too involved in the art scene.

Suddenly she is obsessed with being part of expressionists paintings and only eats Campbell's brand soup.
Never underestimate your influence on someone and who they might become.
Here's to all the strong women out there; you may not all be mothers but I'm sure everyone is a mentor to someone and has the power to touch someone's lives in a meaningful way!

Love you Mom (& both grandmas...!)

Always,
Mary

PS: Posting has been weird lately, hasn't it? Normal posts soon...
PPS: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! But more on that tomorrow...

100 Things: YOU can do to save DARFUR

2009-04-30T13:22:00.002-03:00

Imagine being a thirteen year old girl, knowing you have been raped by ten soldiers. Then, imagine realizing another one is about to take his turn.

Imagine sneaking out of your house at night, walking for hours in dangerous lands to bring heavily protected water home to your family. Then, imagine realizing the water you worked so hard for has been poisoned and everyone will die in a death that will be drawn out and messy.

Imagine watching your brother shot. Imagine watching your grandmother kicked. Imagine fire falling from helicopters, burning everyone in your village to. The mud walls you set up for protection only contain the licking flames, and the smell of burning human flesh fills the air as your entire kin dies out and falls into ashy graves. For some people, this is not their imagination. This is real.
THIS IS THE GENOCIDE IN DARFUR.

What is it about the number hundred that is so magical, that makes it seem like there's all the possibilities in the world? Last time I posted 100 things, I just gave general advice, but the world is full of hundreds, and I hope you take advantage of realizing how many possibilities there really are out there, especially when it comes to solving a complex situation like Darfur.
The answer is there, you just have to believe it is.

1) Read my very first post about Darfur and get a basic understanding of the genocide that is happening in Sudan and causing everyone so much suffering.
2) Understand that although the people may change, The Holocaust, the Armenian genocide, Rwanda, the Sikhs, Poland, China... and many many more are all very comparable to Darfur and all equally deserve attention because at the end of the day, they are ALL HUMAN LIVES at stake, no matter what skin colour or religion.
3) Read this, this and watch this (I'm sorry, midly monotone voice but worth it, and it's only 9 minutes) to get some varied views.
----
Once you understand, only then can you take actions that will make a difference.

4) Talk to your family and friends about Darfur and educate them about the humanitarian crisis that is happening overseas. It is fairly easy to bring up in conversation, "I was reading this book today..."

5) Make random strangers aware by decorating a bag like Rachel of In an English Accent, pictured above, did to grab people's attention.
6) Carry pamphlets with you so you can inform others even if you have to dash.
7) Buy vintage clothing from Tavi's incredibly giving and thoughtful store, which donates all money raised to STAND. You get clothes, and social conscience! People overseas get food and not death! WIN-WIN!
8) Visit the STAND website, both Canadian and American. I love this group with all my heart and hope you'll consider helping out.
9) Start a STAND chapter at your school. Easier than it looks, you can hold informational sessions and keep everyone educated about the genocide.
10) Sell cupcakes for Darfur. Bonus points for little green (the official colour) frosting ribbons on top!
11) Sell books for Darfur.
12) Sell old toys, collect refundables, bag groceries, wash cars... You have a talent (once again, hi Tavi!) and you can use it to raise money to donate to a great number of charitable organizations that will make a difference.
13) Ask your local library if they would accept donations of books about Darfur. Sometimes libraries reject donations from interest groups because unfortunately neoNazis exist and hate literature can be easily passed off as a novel, but if you prearrange it maybe you & your local chapter could fundraise for the library.
14) Put in a request for specific books and DVDs about Darfur to be bought for the library. Many times your wishes will be granted!
15) Try to organize a display in the library that features pictures and recommended reads that draws attention to the rape, the fires, the death... the genocide.
16) Buy the DVD Darfur : Now. Watch it.
17) Have a movie night with your friends and watch said DVD over popcorn. Discuss it afterwards.

18) Hold a rally!
19) Hold a letter writing campaign and target politicians at both local, national, and international levels.
20) North Americans, call 1-800-genocid(e)! It is SO SIMPLE and you can leave as many messages as you want!
21) When political figures hold public meetings, ask them their stance on the genocide.
22) Ask your teachers if they would consider laying aside one class to talk about the genocide in Darfur, especially in social studies and arts related courses. Assemble a small curriculum for the class so they don't feel alone in it.
23) Make a powerpoint and carry it around with you on a USB stick. I have given so many impromptu presentations infront of total strangers in my history of activism... visuals really do the trick.
24) Put up posters. Don't fear monger with disgusting images of partially decomposing bodies, no matter how true they are, but feel free to show the suffering of starvation and fear, and perhaps even skeletons.
25) Bring up Darfur any time someone mentions the Holocaust or Rwanda. There is a myth that genocide is over. This is not true.
26) Buy a t-shirt!
27) Don't be afraid to get creative; get a group of students to lie dead in the gym for a lunch and have each student represent a hundred people. Trace around the bodies with chalk and see the 400,000+ death count.
28) Write letters to the editor. Ask why Brittany Spears gets on the cover by not those suffering in Sudan. (Hint: The answer is money but maybe they'll feel guilted into publishing your letter?)
29) Blog about Darfur.
30) Follow people on Twitter to get updates about what's happening. It's like a Darfur centered newspaper!
31) Read stories about individuals in Darfur. People don't respond well to numbers; they need to attach a specific story to an attrocity for it to register some times.
32) Don't waste water. It's such a slap in the face to the entire situation.

33) Buy the CD Instant Karma. A bunch of people singing John Lennon songs? I love it, and some which you might not think you'd be into are actually really good. (Fergie.. singing.. John Lennon..?!)
34) Go to lectures. A lot of them are free, check local libraries and universities!
35) Activists are people too; write to great ones and let them know you admire them!
36) Maybe don't pull a Mia Farrow, but pledge to give up something (a coffee, run at home instead of at the gym) for a week and donate the money to Darfur.
37) Do number 36 as a group.
38) Instigate Darfur related projects at a youth or church group.
39) Watch media like the newspaper and television. See when they mention Sudan but not the genocide. Peace keepers are killed over there, which is disgusting, but they don't even mention why. Get mad about this.
40) Ask people to donate to STAND instead of giving you birthday/Christmas/large events presents. May 8th I turn 19, and all the money is going to Darfur!
41) Talk casually to your grandparents about including Darfur related charities in their will. This can be a little creepy so proceed with caution, but if you're close with your grandparents it's easy for them to share your passion to help others.
42) Divest from Darfur. Don't invest in places that buy Sudanese oil and fund this genocide; demand more accountability from who you, your family, your school, and the places around you invest in.
43) Invite a speaker to your school: many refugees or activists are willing to get the word out and would love your invitation. Shoot off a polite email and welcome them in to your community.

44) Hold a vigil, especially at a local church, for the souls lost to the Genocide. Etch names of victims into candles. Personify it. Make people see the lives lost.
45) Hold a concert or dinner. This can be super tricky, but with a big enough team these can generate a LOT of money and a lot of fun too!
46) Make a small but regular donation. 10$ a month really can make all the difference. Mine is automatically withdrawn every time a paycheque is deposited, so I don't even miss the money!
47) Realize that when you speak of Darfur, people look at you as a figure. When people try to disagree (it happens!), resist the urge to laugh at them... although it can be hard not to patronize. I sometimes fail at this. Just re-explain it's not about politics, it's about people.
48) Write to Washington and tell them that the information exchange that is keeping the States silent is disgusting and morally wrong. Sudan's information keeps the US from doing anything about them, and this is wrong.
49) Volunteer at a local refugee shelter; sometimes putting together small welcome baskets with English dictionaries can make all the difference to someone recovering from the terror of a destroyed homeland.
50) Get on the emailing list for information straight to your inbox!
51) Do your class projects get displayed on walls? Do you read your poetry out loud for other students to hear? I did a speech on Darfur for a class of mine and it was an ideal audience because they all knew me already. It became a goal instead of a problem, and goals mean action.
52) As important as education is, when you have meetings, make sure you have a goal for the year. Some people will drop out if they feel the group is too passive.

53) Make banners and get people to sign it. Display it in a prominent area, like a school.
54) Have petitions, both online and on paper. Make them FOR the victims of genocide instead of AGAINST the government.
55) Have answers. Research solutions. When people ask you "Well, what do you want them to do?" be prepared. It's one thing to support a cause through empathy, but another thing to actually support a cause.
56) Support anti racism initiatives in your community. We all ask how genocide starts... well, it is much easier prevented than stopped.
57) Ask your favourite celebrities and those with a lot of followers to drop links for Darfur in their updates!
58) Give out cupcakes with the STAND website iced on them.
59) Host Green Dances for Darfur at high schools. Charge a dollar extra as a donation.
60) Coffee houses are pretty much the best things ever, because people who like acoustic guitar usually end up liking social activism as well. DON'T ASK ME HOW, but there is a definite genetic connection there.
61) Send this out to your friends. Evan is a super charming sweet heart so it's kind of a visual and morally rewarding video. YEAAA.
62) Host an art attack, where you put up hundreds of posters in one concentrated area at once.
63) Make wristbands, pins, or other small things you can wear.
64) Screen your investments using number 1 on this list to check if the companies you're supporting with your money are clean!
65) Have tee shirt days where anyone who makes and wears a T shirt for Darfur can come to the cafeteria to get a cookie.
66) Call 1-800-genocid(e) as a class. Take turns with who stands up at the front each class/week/other day (whatever you can convince your teacher of) and call a different rep each time.
67) Have a 1-800-genocid(e) day where a phone in a classroom is made availible to students to call 1-800-genocid(e).
68) Swamp the lines. Have everyone with a cellphone in your class call the number and stay on hold until many lines in Ottawa/Washington have someone talking about Darfur in them.
69) Outline chalk bodies in the sidewalk and write the Stand website in them.
70) Read the Stand Canada blog.
71) Add it to your blog list.
72) Stand for the Dead
73) Host a battle of the bands.
74) Host a bike a thon.
75) Host a walk (What? What a crazy idea!) Holy vintage Mary....
76) Provide well written sample postcards that students only have to sign and can then mail themselves.
77) Scroll down to the Be A Witness campaign on this here, and arrange something similar.
78) Hold screenings of genocide related movies like "Hotel Rwanda" at local independant theaters and raise profits for a current genocide while learning about a past one.
79) If you believe in praying, pray.
80) If you belong to a prayer group, encourage others to pray.
81) Buy a pack of post cards. Mail them to those who need to see them.
82) Sign an online post card!
83) There are a number of podcasts (how do you link to a podcast?) that will give you free, weekly shows and keep you up to date just by listening to your ipod! Search for "Save it Now: Darfur."
84) See what other people have to say about Darfur.
85) Download the Boston Legal episode where Allan, Lori and Denny try to fight the United States government. My dad showed me... I laughed and laughed but it was VERY well done.

86) See what the youngest victims of genocide have to say. Show others.
87) Make a video. Put it on Youtube.
88) Invite people to join Facebook groups to support Darfur. I have to clarify, as I think Facebook is the most apathetic form of activism and merely joining a group does crap all, but if it gets them to actually read the message and learn a bit, it can be useful.
89) In the same spirit, post news stories so they will pop up in your friends feeds.
90) Twitter is also good for this from time to time.
91) Hold a Wii or Guitar Hero tournament over lunch at school! Hillarious and raises money fast!
92) Same applies to dunk tanks.
93) Learn the definition of what a genocide is.
94) Learn how the United Nations works.
95) Make an actual connection with the stories you read. Feel for them and think of them until you cry. Channel this passion.
96) If you're in Nova Scotia towards the end of May, SHOOT ME AN EMAIL and see what exciting events you can get in on!
97) Express and demand that the people responsible for this do not get off easy; they have to pay for the countless lives that they took. Make sure other leaders are quaking in their boots so they understand that the PEOPLE HAVE THE POWER, and we will not tolerate the gruesome murders of our brothers and sisters.
98) Show other people this post. Pass it on.
99) Stop seeing human life as a privilege. Life is a right. These people deserve to live just like you and I. Get over your superiority complex as someone who doesn't live in a developing country (we all have one) and start to truly love humanity.

100) Care, and show people you care. Love will win this, understanding will end this.

Do some of them. Pass it on.
2.5 million refugees can't wait much longer.
Always,
Mary

What It's Like to Be... A Girl With Two Moms

2009-03-24T08:41:00.015-03:00

"I live in the US in a colonial-style town in New England. Living in the North, people tend to be more accepting of the LGTB [Lesbian Gay Transgendered Bisexual] community, or if they do object they tend to keep quiet about it. The place I see intolerance most is in my school where a lot of kids seem so mind-numbingly ignorant that I begin to wonder how this new generation can possibly be expected to eradicate the major issue of intolerance in the world if we’re too trapped in or own heads to see out into other people’s lives."
-Emily, on the right

There are some people in this world that are so charming and honest you can immediately start to see part of yourself in them. Within my first few lines of e-mail conversation, I could tell that Emily was one of them. Fun loving and feminine, she mentioned chugging Earl Grey tea and eating ice cream ("like it's my job!"), chick flicks, a freakish talent for the game Taboo, and always crying a little bit while reading the 7th Harry Potter book.

A dreamer, a spa frequenter, a tennis lover you would not want to be up against (she would probably kick your ass, sorry, truth) and a fashion lover, in her ideal world would be a musical where she could sing and dance, but also live in Starbucks and take only one class in high school: English, because it's obvious that she is a talented writer. However, a major aspect of her ideal world would be acceptance for the people she loves. You see, Emily's mother is homosexual, and Emily's here to tell you why it's no big deal.

M: Your mom came out when you were fairly young; did you understand what was happening?
E: Actually, since I was only in the third grade, I had little to no awareness of [what homosexuality was] at that age. When my parents split up I initially had no idea of the cause of it because they never told me the reason behind it. I think it took me around three years to actually figure out that her homosexuality was the reason for their divorce. [...]

I [had] known that my mom and her partner were friends before that time and assumed that was the only relationship that existed between the two of them. A year later, they started a business together so that just progressed in my mind from “friends” to “business partners”. Obviously, I wasn’t too quick on the uptake…

M: What do you think or do when you hear the words “That’s so gay” ?
E: A lot of the time I’m tempted to respond “That’s so straight”, or perhaps give the perpetrator a low-down on how the world really works, but then I remind myself that being volatile and argumentative never did anyone any good.

M: Can you tell us some negative experiences you've had from people because of ignorance in regards to homosexuality?
E: The most recent experience I’ve had with outrageous intolerance was actually through Facebook. Out school participates in The Day of Silence (happening this year on April 17th if anyone is interested) which is a day when students in support of gay rights take a vow of silence to raise awareness. It’s supposed to imitate the silence that people from the LGBT community must deal with every day of their lives from the silencing voices of bullying, name calling, and harassment. I recently found out from a friend of mine that someone in our student body had created an anti-Day of Silence group on Facebook claiming that the Day of Silence should not be allowed in our school because it wasn’t “right” that gay rights should be so freely advertised. Needless to say, I was livid. What hurt me most was that a really nice guy I had become friendly with had joined the group. It was kind of a shock seeing the diverse affect of intolerance happening right in my town. The group was shut down, but the impact remains.

M: What would happen if your mother was allowed to marry her partner?
E: It would help tremendously with financial and health concerns, and it wouldn’t be much of a change from the lives they lead already since they function as a married couple do.

M: What was your reaction when you heard prop 8 had passed?
E: Although gay marriage has been made legal in our state, I think they may be worried it could backfire like it did in California. I couldn’t BELIEVE that prop 8 passed, [...] Legalizing gay marriage in California made many people in the LGBT community believe that perhaps society was on the verge of some much needed change, having that taken away was extremely demoralizing.

M: There are a lot of themes of homosexuality in the media, but they do perpetuate stereotypes (Queer eye for the straight guy, the song I kissed a girl) How do you feel about this?
E: I just think people need to realize that those aren’t accurate representations of gay people as a whole group. In a way, I feel some of those things are good for ignorant people simply because it EXPOSES them to the existence of homosexuality in our culture. In many places I feel like it’s a taboo subject, but at least these things provide a presence of the LGBT community in these people’s lives that they might not get elsewhere.

M: Do you attend parties/parades/ events sponsored by the LGBT community? What are they like?
E: One thing I can say is that the gay community REALLY knows how to throw a party and how to generally have a good time. My family has been involved with organizations such as Love Makes A Family and Stonewall Speakers, and I’ve been to a few debates and workshops, but there’s never anything as huge as a parade happening here-about.

M: Is anyone in your family religious yet still accepting of your mother’s sexuality? How do you feel when people use religion to insult you?
E: My mom’s mom is very VERY Catholic, so it was a struggle at first for my grandma to accept my mom’s sexuality, I think. But in the end I think she decided that the creed of Christianity is love because God is love, so it would only be right for her to treat her own daughter with the love, kindness, and respect she deserves. My mom is now a part of the Episcopal Church, where homosexuality isn’t shunned and looked down upon. This is a tough subject for me as I am deeply religious.

A lot of people are misled on this topic as there is actually no place in the Bible that deals with same-sex marriage. In the Old Testament, a little bit is mentioned of sinful sexual activity between either men and women or two men and two women, however during the time the Bible was written, there was virtually no knowledge of the existence of loving and committed same-sex relationships.

The way I see it, Jesus preached love of all people to his followers, and treating everyone with love is how I intend to spend my life on Earth. Those who would use religion to insult and condemn don’t understand that it is not their place to condemn because ultimately it is only God’s judgement that matters.

My philosophy? Treat everyone with love, for in the end only God can judge them.

M: People say that having two mothers can make boys feminine and girls tomboy and all that lame stuff. Care to laugh in their face and prove them wrong?
E: Hah. Every time someone asks that I smile.

Here’s the way it is: I am possibly one of the most feminine people in my circle of friends, I hate having my hair short because I think it makes me look like a boy, I’m fashion obsessed, boys are one of my favorite conversation topics, I can shop as if my life depends on it, and chick flicks are TOTALLY MY THING.
Conclusion: I am NOT a tomboy. I repeat, NOT a tomboy.

Earth shattering, isn’t it?

Other causes Emily supports:
"Something I’m really involved with is juvenile bipolar research. My little brother was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when he was 3 and he’s lived an unjustly fair life being brought down by the disorder. Very little is known about bipolar and there is not currently a cure. Bipolar can tear a lot of families apart and I’d like to raise awareness for the serious nature of this disorder.

[Here is a] good website for information and this moving article from the New York Times accurately shows what it’s like living in a bipolar household."

Emily Digs...
"Dustin Lance Black is who you might recognize as the writer of the movie Milk. I hadn’t heard much of him before the Oscars, but while watching his acceptance and hearing his speech I was so moved and proud of his achievements and attempt at spreading the message of Harvey Milk in our society."

"Bishop Gene Robinson is someone I deeply admire for his both his faith and bravery in the face of opposition. He’s the first openly gay bishop and he gave the invocation prayer at the Inaugural concert for Obama. His interview with Jon Stewart is something that should really be watched, he’s quite witty."

Mary Recommends...
"Combating bigotry the gayest way I know how"
"This pepper shaker is so 16 year old boy with a cheesy mustache" JUST SAYING! I love Wanda Sykes...
The Day of Silence (I'm partaking! You should too!)
Emily's Blog

Always,
Mary

What to Say When You Call 1-800-Genocid(e) this Friday

2009-03-17T02:21:00.000-03:00

There's nothing worse than having tons of emotions trapped inside you but being unable to explain them, especially on the phone.

So when you call the number this Friday, just leave this page open in front of you and read off the screen!

generic:
"I realize the economy is bad right now, but the people of Darfur are being murdered senselessly and the death count is estimated at about four hundred thousand. Why isn't anyone doing anything?"

"We said 'never again' after Rwanda, yet the situation is appearing again. Were those empty promises?"

"As a developed nation, why aren't we becoming global citizens and stepping up to the plate to help the Darfuri peoples escape from a plight suffered by many minorities before them."

for Canadians:
"We had people held hostage in Darfur, yet we're doing nothing to try to fix the situation when we now know first hand how dangerous this can be. I find this disappointing."

"I am of legal voting age, and we all know you want a majority government. You will not secure my vote with your apathy towards the genocide in Darfur."

"Canada has a strong history of peace keeping, like Romeo Dallaire in Rwanda. Why don't we continue that legacy in Darfur?"

for Americans:
"Obama really brought in a sense of hope and change into the White House... Why haven't the people of Darfur been able to discover the effects?"

Whatever you say, speak from the heart.
The people of Darfur have no voice but yours.
Make the call, make a difference.

Yes Please!/ No Thanks...

2009-03-11T03:42:00.002-03:00

Yes Please!

varying shades of light blue, from cornflower to Tiffany blue

rice crispies at any time of day... including eleven pm when I'm writing an essay

vintage driving gloves

taking organization and colour coding to the next level

tying my hair in a knot, literally

wearing contrasting colours, like gold and blue

finding silly old journal entries and realizing they're no longer true!

finding Ringo, Bruce Springteen, Robert Plant, Woody Allen, and Lou Reed on the covers of old Rolling Stones

having a new floral ironing board to iron the floral things that were scrunched up in the back of my drawers!

no thanks...
genocide of the baha'i people & 7 recently charged (I can't find the updated article online)
the bad parts of the 1980s, again (I love you Marc! Sorry!)
a lot of the ignorant comments in reply to this
apathy

Tell me what little things you've been doing lately to make you happy?
Tell me something going on in the world right now that upsets you?
Always,
Mary

Newsflash: "That's so Gay" is Not Okay

2009-01-28T10:22:00.007-04:00

(hint: Neither is "He totally Jewed me" or "That's so retarded.")
Thanks prideinisrael.com for the image.

Yesterday was International Remember the Holocaust Day. Not a lot of people realized this, but that does not mean you cannot take a minute to acknowledge in tragedy that concluded with an inordinate number of lives lost and destroyed by intense hatred, disgusting intimidation, and a fear and incomprehension about other kinds of people.

Because that's what it is, incomprehension.

And although what you do every day or from time to time might not be tantamount to dictatorship and genocide, when you use slurs and deprecatory language, you are sharing and adding to that level of incomprehension that grew to create epic adversity against humanity.

Readers, Homosexuals are one of you. (In fact, you could be homosexual for all I know.) This seems obvious, but why do I have to remind you? Shut up about gay marriage and what any book you've ever read might have told you, because I am a devout Christian yet somehow I manage to respect and tolerate people who love other people with the same parts. Don't even think of gay marriage for a second, how about you think of gay respect?

Many opinions are held on homosexuality, but you know what is not an opinion? The question of whether or not they are human. What gives YOU the right to turn something they have been labeled into an insult? Why are you so bold as to think that it "doesn't matter" when you call things gay? I don't care what anyone says for any reason, I guarantee treating people with love and respect takes priority.

Homosexuals burned in death camps along with their Jewish brothers and sisters. The Roma people, many religious officials, rebels, and people with mental and physical disabilities suffered with them. Let's take a minute to remember everyone who saw the inhumanities of poisoned showers... human fat being used to make soap and candles... real, living, breathing, thinking people crying and wondering when it would stop.

So when does it stop? If you actually dare to imply you promote genocide, you can keep your opinion and get the hell off of this blog. Good. Now for the rest of you, my precious darlings that I pray nothing comparable every occurs to you, or anyone you love, or anyone ever... You pronounce yourself to be against genocide, and this is beautiful and worthy, however, what is your language saying?

Please never forget: people first, labels second.

Always,
Mary

How to Form a Protest!*

2008-08-19T21:54:00.006-03:00

*a more public relations friendly version of this word is “gather of people with a likeminded passion for activism. With signs.” Or at least that’s what I told the police officer.

A lot of people have noticed that there are certain causes I am very passionate about. Be it ranting about body image or writing about Darfur, I try my hardest to get my point across; change must happen.

And what better way to try to make that change happen? A large group of people demanding it.

Some of you may have read back about my large yet legal protest I organised regarding the disgustingly huge human rights violations happening in the region of Darfur right now, and I promised I’d explain how you can get involved. Obviously, my pet cause is genocide so all terms will be based around that, but this can apply for whatever suffering you are trying to end.

1) Find people who care. They are out there, and they will help you. They may be a bit tricky to find but once you do you will love it. You need a core base of people to get together with you somewhat frequently and advertise this thing like it is the apocalypse. I did a lot of the work on mine almost on my own because my support base wasn’t very strong, but it is so much easier when everyone has a task.

2) Find people who don’t care, and make them care. The average person might be reluctant to give up even the slightest minute for a battered people, but you must use all your charm and sway to make them see the truth. For example…

“Did you know that in Darfur women are often raped brutally several times by several different men before eventually being shot?”

Seriously, if people say no to that… well.. Draw your own conclusions. Also, you need to appeal to people’s sense of fun, not just their sense of charity. As much as you’d like for them to care, a lot of people are busy or unmotivated. Let them know it’s going to be the biggest thing they’ve seen in ages, there will be more of their friends there, and there will be free cookies! Yaaaaaaaaay cookies!

3) Never beg. Never bug. Never argue. Some people are busy, and you have to accept that. As much as you’d like them to care, they don’t, or they do but they can’t. Begging and bugging is frustrating for everyone and just makes your cause look worse. Furthermore, don’t try to convert the negative people who think your cause is stupid. (“Oh my God we can’t do everything let black people help themselves…” Yes, sadly this is a real racist comment I heard whilst campaigning. Oh joy.) They are annoying, but constantly arguing will just lead to them trying to sabotage your lovely efforts with comments you may make while frustrating. Instead, just shake your head, give a “cluck cluck” to yourself, and say, “I’m sorry you feel this way” and strut off, feeling fabulous. BURN.

Optional: Add, “Wow, it’s amazing you can stay in that position for so long. You know the, the your head is up your ass one. You go walk 4 hours for water every night before you say that while carrying your fake Louis Vuitton. We can’t do everything, but you’ve done nothing, bitch.” like I did.

I’m sorry folks, I can’t always be classy.

4) Set a good date and time. Keep the route in prominent areas, and have it well known ahead of time. Choose a date that’s easy for people. I chose mid afternoon on a Saturday which seemed to work the best. I also found stopping points worked well for gathering people. I stopped at major places like universities and parks so everyone had a minute to breath.

5) Keep it legal. Make sure the police know your route for this peaceful protest. Make sure the starting point and the ending point are not only clear, but booked so you aren’t trespassing. You’d be amazed who owns what. I chose a junior high school as the starting point and the city hall as the end, and both had to be booked. The police were also incredibly helpful and had a car block off the streets for us as we banged our way down. If you have any type of entertainment after, make sure you have a noise permit.

6) Find out how to book a megaphone. If you have speakers or even just organising a large crowd before the walk requires it.

7) Let local politicians know. Politicians love photo ops and youth activism. If you stress how grass root this is, but remain professional, they’d love to show up. Make sure they understand it’s legal, and make sure you don’t bash any political party. Even though Stephen Harper has done little for Sudan, I avoided bashing the Conservatives to look mature, and thus garner a better reputation amongst the politicians, who can get stuff done.

8) Advertise like crazy. Make lots of posters, and post them everywhere. Make sure you recycle them when done! Can you afford radio space? Will the newspapers donate some slots? How about morning announcements at school? Oh, how about FACEBOOK. If everyone invites their friends it’s easy to message the entire event and tell them new info, and to spread the word. I got the word all over my province with just one network!

9) Ask for donations. Have a good charity that is related to your event so you can raise funds as well as awareness. Half the time though, awareness is more important. Bonus points if you have something to sell, like pins of a bracelet.

10) Let the media know. Give them a cell phone number, a starting spot, a place to meet you so they can photograph your crowd and do a story on your group, thus promoting the cause. To be honest, reporters tend to care more about what kids are doing then the cause itself, but it still gets it out there. Call all major news stations and make sure they know!

11) Be happy, no matter what. You’ve worked hard on this! If it’s 5 people or 500 people, if it’s raining or sunny, you have to deal with it and be glad it’s happening. Be optimistic, and everyone will want to hear about your cause! Grouchy people on the side of the street are nooo fun.

It takes effort. It takes lots of effort. And months of planning. But if saving the world was easy, we would have done it already. We often forget about the meaning of the word sacrifice, and putting aside a little bit of effort for a big cause hardly constitutes that.

Instead think of all the people in Darfur who have died in efforts to let their children live.

Think of the grandparents who walk four hours a night to get water for their family.

Think of sharing what little food you have.

That is sacrifice. We’re just being moral.

Always,

Mary

A Love Letter

2008-07-31T22:37:00.007-03:00

Dear Teenage Girls of North America, (and elsewhere as well, although I have not really witnesses you all that much)

I won't lie, half the time I dismiss you and your youth as foolish and immature, but I must realize that is the way you are meant to be. Please, hold on to that foolishness. It will keep you happy, and that is more important than losing weight or final exams. As the world looks at crisis elsewhere, we forget about the murder here at home, the murder of your soul.

This is my letter to you all, that maybe sometime you will read when you are crying and feeling alone. Or maybe you won't. Maybe you'll forget about this, but you are reading this now, and I hope you believe me when I say I love you.

I love everything about you, teenage girls. Oh sure, you annoy me when you mess up my piles at work and listen to terrible music, but my heart will move beyond that. I see what the media is doing to you, and baby, it ain't right. You deserve more than to be thrown into the world with blue eyeshadow and a training bra. Stop buying things that undermine your intelligence. I know you, and I know that you're smart, so girls, why are you hiding it? Why do you give your money to places that will only ever make you feel like less than Kate Moss?

I'm not denying clothes are fun, and the objectification of women is seen in a lot of prominent brands, but girls, you have to realize that. You can't stop thinking because they tell you to. Even if you continue to support them economically, keep in mind that the big lipped tiny hipped models you see on their walls are just shadows of things that will never be as beautiful and mature as the amazing teacher, or neuroscientist, or astronot, or even stay at home mom as you will be. Don't look at lies and mistake it for truth. You are so beautiful the way you are, and I'm begging you to stay that way.

I've been there, trust me, it's a hard phase for everyone. Crouched over the toilet with a sweaty brow, begging God or whoever to make you thin. Even if you try to pretend you don't care about Paris Hilton, why does she get all the attention when you and your exceptional swimming skills, or writing, or frisbee throwing, or whatever you do best is ignored? Why do guys go for the one who puts out when everyone is busy snarking at teen mothers and screaming that Jesus wants you to keep your clothes on. Why can't you think of anything but sex, but why aren't you allowed to enjoy the thought of it?

This relationship has got to end now. Please, demand something smarter from your media. Keep rocking those beat up Converse and whatever else Miley Cyrus says is in style, but don't be blind about it. I know it's hard breaking up baby, but some things have got to be done.

I'm tired of seeing you all hate on female celebrities that are 'has been' products of what the media once declared good. Yes, Britney is " a trainwreck" now, but wasn't she perfect at the time?
I'm tired of this I need to lose 5 pounds nonsense. Are you at risk for heart disease or do you have wide hip bones, bones that no matter how much you diet will always be there, until they shatter due to lack of nutrients.
I'm tired of you letting magazines use and abuse you, as they try to push you into a "healthy lifestyle" as they show rap artists that call women hos and twenty one year old with the bodies of twelve year olds in the pages that follow.

Darlings, the media will never love you, but I always will.
Stay strong, girls. I know you're the future's only hope. I may not make much sense when I rant, but I'll rant for you anyways until people listen.

Always,
Mary

UPDATE: September 3rd.
Thank you for everyone and their overwhelming support and feedback.
I will now include some other things I have done re: body images for this blog, for those bad days.
On Having a Waist
Body Image Vlogging